ok, feeling overwhelmed today :(

I spend a lot of my time trying to figure out ways to pay down this 60 some odd thousand dollar debt. I try to remain optimistic and positive, but today I just feel like its just not possible to pay it down. It's a pretty terrible feeling, because so much rides on getting rid of that debt. And its not like I could have avoided it. Actually, I believe that everyone has some fault in their situation, no matter what it is. My fault in this situation is that I didn't know anyone in the areas where I went to school, so I lived on my own. I didn't have any roommates. But this didn't cause me to borrow more. I would have gotten the same amount if I was living with roommates. It actually caused me to go without a lot more.... I only worked through part of my schooling, a very small part. This is my BIG fault. I wanted to focus on my studies and get good grades (which I did). By the time I realized how screwed I was going to be, I was in clinical 8 hours a day, and studying on top of that. I worked for a bit, but was forced to quit when I became so exhausted, I actually got sick. Lesson learned. Too bad I can't do anything about it now. Even a second job doesn't look too promising with my job's hours, and with a baby.



I think of everything I can, and some stuff is pretty freakin crazy. I even thought of trying to sell 60,000 different things for $1 each. People will buy something if they know its really helping someone out...right? Yeah, but then I have to ship it, $$, and I would have to come up with 60,000 things..... because I am pretty sure I don't have anywhere close to 60,000 things in my house.... unless I start selling squares of toilet paper.... *sighs and shakes head*

If I am able to make the monthly payments when I get back to work, I will have to pay over $500 per month, for 15 years. So at the end of it, when I pay it off, I will have paid over $103,000 back, even though I only borrowed $60,000ish. Not including the past years that I was only able to make interest payments.... Oh yeah. Isn't that pretty?

Oh well! I will keep on doing what I am doing and keep on trying to come up with something to speed this process up. At least I still have excellent credit!